January 22, 2013

Wet Worms, Quick Coughs, and Unforgettable Events

Challenge 2 Day 6: My Most Awkward Date

I know i skipped day 5, but that's because it was boring and i was SO excited for this one. Because boy do i ever have an awkward date story. In respect for this lass, we shall refer to him as "boy", because he was actually really just trying to be a fun date and he couldn't help his weirdness. So, Onward.

PART I: STRETCHY SKIN AND BOULDERS

This story starts about two weeks before Prom. I was taking Psychology and sat behind a boy who was pretty quirky yet funny. I had never spoken more than 6 words to him, and they included "Will you pass this paper up?"   Well one day I came home from softball practice and found a big monstrous boulder and a tiny pebble on my porch. There was a note that said "It would ROCK to go to Prom with you. If Yes, give me back the pebble. If No, give me the boulder. From, "BOY". I was excited just to be asked to prom, so i decided to be optimistic and use the power of positive thinking with this one, so i gave back the pebble, and bam. The date was confirmed.  Boy and I still barely talk and have to endure some awkward small talk in psychology, because i didnt even know him. I did learn that his skin was so stretchy that he could eat cereal out of his stomach. You know, what every girl wants to hear. 

PART II: CREEPY OLD MEN 

The day of Prom arrives, and i still haven't been told what time our date starts at, what we're doing, etc. Still trying to make the best of the situation, i grin and bear it. Boy finally calls and says he will be there in 20 minutes. Boy comes to the house and gets me. We meet up with his friend and his date, Josie, who i am pretty good friends with. Thankgoodness.   We go to friends house where his mother makes jewelry for us. It was not entirely that bad, except we just kinda sat there and made small talk while his mom did all the work. ALSO, friend's old dad sat in his pajama's and creepily stared at me and Josie THE WHOLE TIME. Bless his heart, he probably didn't mean to come across like a creeper, but it freaked me and Jo big time. After about 2.5 hours of watching jewelry being made, go get a sno-cone and each throw a paper airplane off of the LaVerkin bridge. The boys take us home, and i have a few hours to de-crazify myself. 

You may be asking when the awkward stuff comes in. Be patient.Good things come to those who wait and keep reading Paisley's posts.

PART III: THE MEAL OF SHAME

So later that evening we were picked up in our fancy dresses and went to go eat at Outback. On the way there, the boys spoke in russian and me and Jo were totally lost. While the boys were in their own little unusual world, us girls tried to give encouraging sympathy chuckles and keep a smile on our faces. When we got to the restaurant, we ordered and all seemed to be on the upside climb. But then our food came and boy started eating off my plate... WHAT? You don't do that on a date?! Maybe if you really really know the person, but not someone who you've only passed papers too! Anyways, maybe i am just to uptight, but that was not exactly good-dating etiquette in my opinion. Dinner continued to be awkward when a big group of popular kids from our high school came and were seated next to us, and got to watch boy and friend try to find their straws with their mouths while closing their eyes. It was definitely not a proud moment. Continuing. 

PART IV:  QUICK COUGHS & WET WORMS 

So after narrowly escaping that dreadful thing called dinner, we arrived at the venue where prom was being held aka the college ballroom thingy place. Well, we're walking and boy sees other couples walking with arms linked and says "Hey, we should do that too!" So our arms link. Which is totally cool i guess. Until his arm decided to come unlinkified so that he could hold my hand.... uh hum.... Maybe i'm just weird/old fashioned/not skilled in the romance department.... but to me holding hands is not something you do with just anyone.. Maybe i'm so weird freakazoid, but hey. Thats how i see it. So when boy held my hand, my brain went into panic mode. I quickly tried to think of some escape tactics, and WABAM. I got one! I was already having a hard time walking without tripping on my dress, and this whole "lets hold hands and be lovers" was NOT helping in any way. So, I may have faked a little cough, causing me to let go of the hand hold to cover my mouth {{mama taught me to have good manners, you see}} and then instead of resuming the death grip, held my dress up for dear life. Pretty incognito and unsuspicious eh??  We finally got inside the building, and all was going well* {{*the word well can be substituted with weird, awkward, terrible, worst date ever}}  Josie and I were glad we had each other, because we had no clue which planet our dates were on. Sadly, there were a lot of bathroom or drink trips because Jo and I just had to take a breath and assure ourselves we were still human. Now onto a real highlight of my night. Outside the ballroom, there was a big pretty fountain that shot up in the air. After we had really "gotten our groove on" on the dance floor, we decided to go enjoy the cool night air and sit on some benches surrounding this fountain. Boy decides to resume the lovey dovey crap. Turns out boy is really the touchey-feeley kind of person. Now, no worries, boy did not do anything bad, but i definitely felt a little too close and too touched for my liking. uugghh. *excuse me while i shudder with bad memories*. Well, as if the night can't get any worse, boy and friend decide it would be oh so fun if they ran through the fountain with their tux's on. Which props to them for being fun, but when i had to dance with someone who was completely sogged and dripping with murky pond water, it wasn't exactly ideal people. Especially not ideal when boy decided to do the worm during a slow dance. People kept looking at me and asking where my date was... to which i would point at the ground so that they could see my lovely date worming his heart out on the dancefloor.

I'm just really glad its over.

This post is getting too long, so i'll cut it short, but just know the ending to the date didn't make up for the rest of it.

But hey! Looking on the bright side, everyone has to have at least one awkward date/dance story, and i got mine done early! Now i can tell my future kids and grandkids all about my fun with the wet worm and how to get out of holding hands. See? It was really a blessing in disguise!! (;

Love P 

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